Menopause Symptoms Are Just Something You Have to Live With
By Marlena Benson-Kelsey, MSN, FNP-C
For generations, women have been told to simply accept the changes that come with menopause.
The hot flashes.
The night sweats.
The sleepless nights.
The brain fog.
The mood changes.
The vaginal dryness.
The changes in sexual health.
And sometimes, the response women receive is simply:
“That's menopause. You'll just have to live with it.”
As a Family Nurse Practitioner, I want women to know something very important:
Menopause is a natural stage of life—but suffering through disruptive symptoms is not a requirement.
Menopause Is Normal. Feeling Miserable Doesn't Have to Be.
Menopause itself is not a disease.
It is a normal biological transition that occurs when the ovaries stop releasing eggs and menstrual periods permanently end. In the United States, the average age of menopause is approximately 51, although the timing varies from woman to woman.
The transition leading up to menopause, called perimenopause, can begin years earlier.
During this time, estrogen and progesterone levels fluctuate, and women may experience a wide range of symptoms.
Some women have relatively mild symptoms.
Others experience symptoms that significantly affect their sleep, work, relationships, exercise, mood, and quality of life.
Both experiences are real.
What Symptoms Can Occur During Perimenopause and Menopause?
Hot flashes and night sweats may be the symptoms most commonly associated with menopause, but they are certainly not the only ones.
Women may experience:
Hot flashes and night sweats
Sleep disturbances
Changes in menstrual cycles
Mood changes or increased irritability
Brain fog or difficulty concentrating
Vaginal dryness or discomfort
Changes in sexual function or libido
Urinary symptoms
Joint and muscle discomfort
Changes in body composition
Headaches or migraines
Fatigue
And symptoms can change over time.
This is one reason I encourage women not to dismiss every new symptom as simply “getting older.”
Your Symptoms Deserve to Be Evaluated
One of the most important things I want women to understand is that not every symptom that occurs during midlife is caused by menopause.
Fatigue, changes in mood, sleep problems, changes in weight, difficulty concentrating, and other symptoms can have many possible causes.
For example, thyroid disorders, anemia, sleep disorders, medication effects, nutritional deficiencies, depression, anxiety, and other health conditions can cause symptoms that overlap with those commonly attributed to menopause.
That's why an individualized conversation with your healthcare provider matters.
Don't assume you have to live with something simply because you're over 40.
Treatment Isn't One-Size-Fits-All
There is no single menopause treatment that is right for every woman.
Treatment decisions depend on your symptoms, medical history, age, reproductive history, personal preferences, risk factors, and overall health.
For some women, lifestyle changes may provide meaningful improvement.
These may include:
Regular physical activity
Strength training
A nutrient-dense eating pattern
Adequate protein and fiber
Limiting alcohol
Avoiding tobacco
Prioritizing sleep
Stress-management strategies
Maintaining a healthy weight
Identifying and managing individual triggers for hot flashes
For others, additional treatment may be appropriate.
Depending on the individual, options can include menopausal hormone therapy (MHT), nonhormonal medications, and local therapies for genitourinary symptoms.
The important point is that treatment should be individualized—not dictated by fear, social media, or someone else's experience.
What About Hormone Therapy?
This is an area where women often receive conflicting information.
You may have heard:
“Hormone therapy is dangerous.”
You may also have heard:
“Every woman should take hormones.”
Neither statement accurately reflects the complexity of menopause care.
Hormone therapy can be an effective treatment for certain menopausal symptoms, particularly vasomotor symptoms such as hot flashes and night sweats, and it has an important role in the management of some menopausal conditions.
However, it is not appropriate for everyone.
The potential benefits and risks need to be evaluated individually with a qualified healthcare professional.
Your age, timing of menopause, symptoms, medical history, cardiovascular risk, breast health, blood clot history, and other factors can all influence the conversation.
There is no one-size-fits-all menopause prescription.
Vaginal and Urinary Symptoms Deserve Attention Too
There is another part of menopause that doesn't get nearly enough attention.
Changes in estrogen can affect the tissues of the vagina, vulva, and urinary tract. Some women experience dryness, burning, discomfort with sex, urinary urgency, recurrent urinary tract infections, or other changes.
These symptoms are common—but common does not mean you have to silently accept them.
There are treatment options, including nonhormonal approaches and, for appropriate patients, local therapies.
If these changes are affecting your comfort, intimacy, or quality of life, talk to your healthcare provider.
You deserve to have that conversation.
Menopause Is Also an Opportunity to Think Long-Term
Managing symptoms is important, but midlife healthcare should be about more than getting through the next hot flash.
This stage of life is an opportunity to become more intentional about your long-term health.
As a Family Nurse Practitioner, I encourage women to use this time to evaluate the areas that become increasingly important as we age:
Heart health.
Bone health.
Muscle health.
Metabolic health.
Sleep.
Mental health.
Sexual health.
Preventive care.
Your health plan should evolve as your body evolves.
Don't Normalize Everything
There is an important difference between normalizing menopause and normalizing suffering.
We can acknowledge that symptoms are common without telling women they simply have to tolerate them.
If you're waking up multiple times every night because of night sweats, struggling to function because you're exhausted, experiencing painful sex, dealing with significant mood changes, or finding that symptoms are interfering with your quality of life, that's worth discussing with your healthcare provider.
You don't need to earn the right to seek help by suffering long enough.
My Perspective as a Family Nurse Practitioner
I believe women deserve better conversations about menopause.
You deserve accurate information.
You deserve to understand your options.
You deserve individualized medical care.
And most importantly, you deserve to participate in the decisions about your own health.
Menopause isn't something that needs to be “fixed.” It's a natural transition.
But the symptoms that accompany that transition should be taken seriously when they interfere with your quality of life.
Don't dismiss yourself.
Don't assume everything is “just aging.”
And don't let fear make healthcare decisions for you.
Ask questions. Get evaluated. Understand your options. Make informed decisions with your healthcare provider.
The Bottom Line
Myth: “Menopause symptoms are just something women have to live with.”
Fact: Menopause is a natural stage of life, but women do not have to simply endure symptoms that are affecting their health or quality of life. There are lifestyle strategies and medical treatments that may help, depending on your individual circumstances.
Your 40s, 50s, and beyond are not the end of your health journey.
They are an opportunity to become more informed, more proactive, and more intentional about your health.
You don't have to suffer in silence.
Your symptoms matter. Your questions matter. And your quality of life matters.
Medical Disclaimer: The information shared on this website, blog, and associated social media platforms is provided for educational and informational purposes only. While I am a licensed Family Nurse Practitioner, the content presented here is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, nor should it be considered individualized medical advice. This information is not a substitute for evaluation, diagnosis, or treatment by your primary care provider or another qualified healthcare professional.
Menopause symptoms can have multiple causes, and treatment decisions should be individualized. Always discuss your symptoms, medical history, medications, and treatment options with your healthcare provider before starting, stopping, or changing any treatment.
